Wear your shoes at Pebbly Beach + Indie folk dinner at Forster Park

Australia, Life, Travel

Forster is a small relaxing township if you make a detour when you are on your way to Port Macquarie, NSW, where aussies are definitely more of the typical laidback aussie here (COMPARED TO SYDNEY).

It’s been about one week in my two week roadtrip from Sydney to Brisbane now, have adapted to our humble way of travelling, enjoying breakfast, lunch, dinner in our old car. I don’t feel the need to complain, because as long as i am with him, i found it fine being super frugal 🙂 So it’s a little ‘luxurious’ for us to have sausage and barbeque sauce with a nice scenic view at Forster Park.

Forster park actually has a very Lord of the Rings kinda scene when we were walking to the picnic bench and table to have our dinner. We stopped by at Forster with the intention to go to Aldi (our first option to shop groceries, and almost optionally choosing Aldi solely). After getting groceries, we intend to continue our roadtrip to the next free campground, but decide to stop by at Forster Park/Pebbly beach. We start off at Pebbly beach first, after a few steps on the beach, when i pulled out my cable from charging, the cable head got stucked on my iphone.

Instantly, i panicked, not used to unfortunate scenarios and electronics in Australia is expensive I don’t want to spend on unnecessary stuff. There wasn’t much in Forster, no electronics shop (since it was closing at 5pm) and don’t know what to do when every single shit closes so early in Aus. Hauke was calmed though – he probably had worse cases. I was panicking not being able to enjoy, i need my phone for google maps, contacting my friends and family, basically everything. I started to fumble, so he decide to go back to the car and get some pin which luckily his mom packed for him, and he got the cable head out, i was able to charge my phone again (but of course have to use a different cable, which i bring extra before coming to Australia). As a reward for him? a kiss! (YES CLICHE )

Okay so, once i had my chill mood on, we took a stroll on the beach, but too many rocks. Pebbly beach i am sure the name is due to many pebbles in the beach, I only started to enjoy and appreciate it’s beauty after my cable panic case.

Amazing though there was a dog was able to play catch the stick – running , ouch it feels pain to me to be able to run on those rocks. We had our privileged romantic dinner at the park, enjoying the sunset, seeing young teens sitting on the beach after their surf felt so relaxing (how i wish i had a healthy nature activity childhood instead of living in the city life), and me as usual, had to take pics of our journey 🙂




Mungo Brush? Weird name? a fancy ferry experience in the woods?

Australia, Life, Travel

oh man i been a loooong break since the last aus trip update. I blame the laptop for being laggy, ok fine its just my sense of laziness and reading german blogs >.> and also work. but yeah so by the time i get home i’m like fuck i need to sleep.

ANYWAYZ. About Mungo Brush (My bf doesn’t know that i think it is so funny when he pronounced it i thought it was his english prob :P) , is a damn huge national park. He kept saying it’s super pretty i’m like okay you just drive i will prepare food when you drive and enjoy the scenery.
and man, it sure is pretty! though with mosquitoes but still pretty! one thing i love about aus, almost the only thing i love about aus is how they preserve the nature so well and clean. Or maybe just i have not been to others much aside from my own country >O<! but hey Borneo has pretty sceneries ok! just that i live in the suburbs not near the mountains or forest. I’m suburb girl. Boy, we were so excited when we see the pelican upclose! SO HUGE BIRD.

as we parked illegally(proper parking cost 10 AUD) we have to rush back to the car when we saw some forest rangers (idk what you call them), but they were cool enough they don’t give us a fine. Apparently in Germany that won’t be the case, the officers are strict and no tolerance there will be a fine.

To continue our roadtrip we had to take the cute ferry trip, cost $6.50 for two of us +vehicle, basically they charge on vehicle type. it was fun! after the ferry to the other side, it’s a little lost because there is no proper tar roads at one point we doubt is our google maps leading us to the right path to go to the north? After a while of crossing those farms and bumpy roads we left the countryside looking beautiful romantic place and continue our roadtrip.



camping site, where we have gotten bitten by mosquitoes and saw the pelican


that’s the camera i use , panasonic yo


pfft what’s with his pose


Pictures taken on 13th April 2017, with love.


our cute car!




He doesn’t know.


He doesn’t know, that i have been shedding tears for the last two days. He doesn’t know, that he is always on my mind. He doesn’t know, how happy I always get when i receive his msgs. He doesn’t know, that i am still keeping so many of our pictures since we first met. He doesn’t know, that many thinks I am a fool in a one-way relationship. He doesn’t know, what has been going on in my life recently. He doesn’t know, that i want to talk to him every day but am so sad when i see his seen no reply msgs.m He doesn’t know, that it hurts me to see him online and ignore me for days. He doesn’t know, that I know he did not hear the voice notes I sent him recently and how sad that made me. He doesn’t know, his last video call made me doubt whether I am the only one still holding on to this relationship or if he has gotten disinterested. He doesn’t know, that that was the trigger that got me into writing this expression note.

It’s been awhile since my last update, was slacking after my trip abroad.
this post is a self expression of how things took a change for the last few months.

It’s abit sad to continue documenting my trip to Australia, because it reminisce him, i have so many photos of him, i kept so many photos of him, i think about him all the time. I want to talk to him every day every night telling him about my life hearing him about his life, but reality a perfect scenario in your mind does not happen (on the bright side the worse scenario in your mind don’t happen too).

I have been holding on, I am still holding on, with rock bottom expectations, to keep this thing between us going because i love him so much. But when it has got to the point where you are sobbing for him, it is time to self reflect, before selecting the right words to have ‘the talk’.
I am trying so hard, i am tolerating in every single way, I know he loves me, but after the video call that seem so disinterested and you seem like a waste of time, does he? I was just looking at the whatsapp messages that I have favourited and how I wish he is still the way he is till I started the breakdown. I have look through past messages and I found a screenshot I took to remind myself, that he is ‘not good at online social interaction’ , and that he ‘needs real connection’. With our financial capabilities, will we have the chance again? How I wish, I will not regret my upcoming ‘talk’.

Mae, this is a message you have wrote today to express yourself. I hope, you will not make a wrong decision. I hope, you are still together with him when you read this. I know, you will be sad if that is not the case when you read this. I hope, you are strong enough to face this in the future. I wish, you can have a lasting relationship with him as you know you can tolerate everything of him when you are with him. I wish, if that is not the case, you are happy with life.
10.13pm 2017 October 3rd

Why my Australia trip strengthen the love for him


Looks is one thing, but at the end of the day is all about the personality.


As we all know ( ok maybe just me) that my aussie trip started horribly (Found here Aus- First day Shock!) I could be miserable for the rest of my days but I recover faster because of him. He never got angry at me all the while I was being angry and miserable.


On the first day, once I got access to my wifi, as I was late he already texted me multiple times looking at the time he sent the msgs. So I reach Central station, holding tears when I was on the train, he was there waiting with his huge backpack and all his stuff, he smells horrible, having not having a proper accomodation all the time in Melbourne.  We had to take a bus to get his car, in the bus he was just looking at why im so unhappy I guess. Even before that, we went to Sydney opera house, I couldn’t even lift a smile, he was telling me ‘smile!’ when I ask him to take a photo..which I really have to force up a smile after a horrible day lol.


Once we got our car I was not that happy too because the air conditioning of the car was not working, and I wasn’t allow to take a long time to look at a nearby grocery store because we were parking illegally and he was worried. I felt there was some racism too on my first few days. The aussies definitely did not treat me so well but for him he always don’t care much on how others think. When we were at blue mountain he told me that was how real aussies are, when he talked to a receptionist asking for mountain suggestions for hiking (that lady was definitely alot nicer than the people in Sydney).


The breaking point when I fully realised is when we were at Newcastle, I was still very much aware and conscious of how other think of me/of us. Just when I was starting to let loose (because he always turn the music sooooo loud), I was embarassed when a teenage kid next to our car at the traffic light stop make fun of us with head banging, and I’m also conscious because I’m asian in a white country, the kid was like making faces and stuff, the instant instinct was looking away pretending I did not see.
As for Hauke, I don’t think he realised, he just kept singing loudly and enjoying the moment looking at me once in awhile to see if I am also in the zone. That kind of spirit really inspired me, to not care about others because people will always judge and those people are not important in your life. If I get a second chance, I would point a middle finger at the stupid tardface punk (that can’t even drive , his mom was driving).. and I would kept singing because I would be enjoying, not caring on dirt punks.


Yeah so after that, I really start to loosen up, really started to enjoy the mood after seeing how carefree he is on the surrounding, and only care about our time mainly.
Walking barefoot most of the time.. but seems like that’s not just him, many aussies does the same so maybe that don’t count ;p


When we reached Coff’s Harbour near the big banana, as we were walking back to our car, some kid said ‘miao’ from the car, that’s what I heard, what he heard was ‘ Did she just said ni hao?’ Me:’ I dont know, dont care~’ him: ‘If she did that’s racist, I allow you to say “fuck you” to her’ . That’s when he sees that is a little racism in Aus, just that he have not seen with his own eyes. It was racist because I’m just asian, I could be japanese , chinese, korean, vietnamese, indonesian etc etc. Dear Aussies, asian does not mean Chinese. So he does care and he isn’t embarrased to walk next to me and anything.


At South West Rocks, when we are out of water, he thought about just going into the restaurant and get in, but I said he isn’t buying anything so they will probably scoff him off. He told me he dont care he doesnt lose anything, in the end the people were kind enough to give him water (yes I waited in the car, just in case they have any racism). It inspired me to care less on the ego/rejection.


All the time as I have been growing up I have care more and more on how others think, i need his sort of optimism, of only caring what’s important. No fear to rejection, to embarassment of the rejection or sayings and so on. So even at Port Stephens when some aussie indian and whites looks pissed off at us for stopping at the loading bay (oh please, is it necessary to show the you-want-to-kill-somebody face? ) and come to knock at our car window, we just laughed it off and show a sorry we are tourists face~. Yes at the point I have already gotten more care-free and adapting to him 🙂


Even at byron’s bay when people are looking and chuckling at my weird asian clothing, I dont care much because you’re only being evil because its not a norm in your country, and normal human nature is not that entirely nice, people talk. Well I’m on the buddhist side so I accept people, just people don’t accept me and alot of other stuff.



At the end of the trip, I have became a carefree on my attire, my race, how we act and what we do because of him. ..Then again when I came back to Malaysia there was some jdugement so, oh well as long as he is around, I just need to have that carefree attitude, and he is a reminder to be carefree and ahppy


This article is dedicated to him, I dont know what happens to us in the future, but since the beginning i met him, made me changed for the better , the braver.


Why I hated my first day in Sydney, Australia

Australia, Life, Travel

Well i’m not gonna lie. I had an awful first impression of Australia thanks to going through their immigration customs officer/experience.

I have this cheerful excited mood when I was about to reach Australia for the very first time, going to see a guy that is more than just a friend again after a few months. That wasn’t the only reason, it was also my first solo trip (youth exchange excluded), to being independent and travelling by myself, to go to a foreign country to meet my current boyfriend (more on the love story next time).

I wasn’t impatient at all when our plane landed early and we had to wait 40 minutes in the plane because our dock was occupied by other planes (so it was a crowded airport). There were some impatient guests that the cabin crew have to ask them to sit down, but I was just patiently waiting since i’m early to the airport, about 920am when our flight was estimated to arrive at 940am.

When we got out finally it’s about 10am, I was all smile and excited when I was going through the crowded customs, then the lady processing my passport told me that just need me to go to a side and a visa officer will come to me. I ask why? No answer. Ok so I follow this officer to the side, he was going around so I thought I should follow (otherwise they be wondering why aren’t i cooperating right?) because he gave instructions that’s so vague, and when I thought I should follow to a room to be question he had to speak so loudly to ask me to stand there. Ok fine.

So a few of us Malaysian passports were being stopped, so when I was being interrogated, he asked:
What company do I work for?
What’s my profession?
How long am I here?
He wants to see my offer letter.
It was already confusing enough because I’m only there for a normal holiday visa, NOT A WORK VISA.

I didnt get wi-fi there, so I had problems accessing my phone. AND dude, if you have worked in your company for say, 5 years. Would you have thought about bringing your offer letter to a country where you’re just going for a vacation? and it would be the back of your treasure of emails isn’t it?

When I was taking a long time to search for the email, the visa officer (named Rajeev, yes i remember) took my phone, and open up my emails, one by one, without my consent. I was dumbstruck. This is how Australian immigration works.
He did not allow me to take back my phone, and until he’s satisfied with opening up the emails, he gave back my phone and just said, ‘You can go now.’
of course, I asked, why he did that, he totally ignore me and repeated ‘You can go now’. 

I was on the verge of tears, my first horrible experience with the customs, a girl alone. I couldn’t use my phone to contact my guy, there was no wifi and i wasnt allowed to, it was already holding up my time. At one point I thought about, are they being racist or countrycist (no this word don’t exist but you get the picture)?

And while he asked me to wait just now, I talked to another Malaysian Indian who was stopped by the customs, along with her mom using a wheelchair. So, we both found out we are first timers to come to Australia, and we have the thought probably our country has a bad reputation already.
Out of politeness, when the visa officer said I could go, I told her ‘Have a nice trip’, immediately the visa officer went ‘paranoid’ and fiercely asked her, ‘ You know her?! How do you know her?!’ 

The last scenario just sounded, oh my god, how is this so stupid? To know that so many asians want to live in australia, after going through such an unpleasant process, nope, i wouldnt wanna stay in a country where i’m being interrogated like a illegal immigrant. Instantly in my mind, all I can think of is, this country sucks and i’m not gonna come back unless I have to (I think my next job have to , fuck).

This whole incident totally ruined my mood for the next 3 days in Australia, I could barely forked up a smile. I didn’t even feel like taking pictures, everything felt disturbed, I didnt even smile when I first greet him, more on that for the next post.

This piece is my personal opinion, my personal experience, if you love australia then too bad I offended you, but this is MY first experience and impression of Australia.


Well, I’m just gonna chuck in some photo to see the good side of it.



Trying very hard to break a smile here

Internet diary of expression: This is Charlie Mae


Hi, my name is Charlie Mae. I have all sorts of names from all sorts of friends, but here, i’m gonna be known as Charlie Mae. This will be my place of expression, a place where i can express my thoughts and opinions, to fulfill my need to write my thoughts somewhere.. since i can’t bother my friends all the time as you aged (YES IMMA GETTING OLD).

I’m starting on this because, i want to share my experience and thoughts for myself , as a reminder for myself, talking to myself as a reader, and also learn on digital media (Yes i’m a tech noob). Oh not to forget, to share pretty pictures i’ve captured, yay! and also to comment on food and scenery and people :p Am i repeating myself? You also must be thinking, what don’t I put this as a private post? Well maybe, to let someone out there with a personality and mindset similar to mine to know that , you’re not alone in your thoughts.

I have so much perspective and thoughts about the world I want to share with people, I’m a person who is use to talking to people online, gathering infomation about their country and culture, sociology interest me.

Why? to see how true are the stereotypes, to let the world know about things that you don’t get to know through travel channel (which only talks about good stuff), about people I encounter, then it’s up to you to think, to know that such things exist in the world.

My way of taking photos, ‘I like retro’, so you can see some filter with retro (especially most recent trip in Australia), using Panasonic Lumix DMC-GF6. I have abit of adult ADHD maybe?! so , let’s hope i can maintain this, and not to be too shy on haters.

I’m writing this however the way I want, as I’ve just seen the video by Shameless Maya on youtube yesterday, that inspired me. No, I don’t give a fuck on traffic and shitz, otherwise I wouldn’t be so expressive, otherwise, I would’ve write on all the things that attracts traffic already.

Personally, I’m really shy, like really shy i usually don’t post pictures of myself, so you would see that most of my pictures are on food and scenery (IG is a proof of it). So if shy + expressive = typing online lmao. Even my current boyfriend says i’m a shy asian girl (more on this for later blog posts).

If you find this blog, welcome to my online diary. If you don’t like this blog, move on.

Hello internet people.